"Passing" as Young

Some people call it "passing;" others refer to it as "covering." It's the phenomenon of downplaying socially disfavored traits, whether they are race, religion, or sexuality, in an effort to blend in with the mainstream.

Kenji Yoshino, a professor at Yale Law School, and a gay Asian man who blends his own experiences of covering with legal analysis on the subject in his book Covering, writes:

We have not been able to see it as such because it has swaddled itself in the benign language of assimilation. But if we look closely, we will see that covering is the way many groups are being held back today. The reason racial minorities are pressured to "act white" is because of white supremacy. The reason women are told to downplay their child-care responsibilities in the workplace is because of patriarchy. And the reason gays are asked not to "flaunt" is because of homophobia. So long as such covering demands persist, American civil rights will not have completed its work.

So that's what I was thinking of today when I read Nice Resume. Have You Considered Botox? Hooray. There's another book out there telling women how not to look old. That's what it's called: How Not To Look Old. Written by a former beauty director for Glamour magazine, a jacket blurb advises, “Looking hip is not just about vanity anymore, it’s critical to every woman’s personal and financial survival.” So older women are encouraged to turn to cosmetic surgery, facial treatments, eyebrow dye, tooth bleach, hair color, clear lip gloss and more (ouch. and $$$$) to "pass" as young. Or better yet, as ageless. Everyone say thank you to that glorious intersection of sexism and ageism.

Isn't that a cute example of being damned if you do and damned if you don't? We all know we're not supposed to look too young or cute, or we will be perceived as being professionally inept and sexually inappropriate. But don't look too old or dowdy, or you'll come off as being outmoded and unsexy. Hew yourselves to that fine line of impossibility, ladies! Aerobecize your bum, but keep your sweater set buttoned.

The article notes:

Many people would shun a book if it were titled “How Not to Look Jewish” or “How Not to Look Gay” because to cater to discrimination is to capitulate to it. But the success of “How Not to Look Old” indicates that popular culture is willing to buy into ageism as an acceptable form of prejudice, even against oneself.

“Ageism is one of the last frontiers of discrimination where people think that a way around it is not to be seen to age, but we would never say that women should try to look or act more male in order to avoid sexism,” said Molly Andrews, a psychologist who is a director of the Center for Narrative Research at the University of East London.

Which is well and good but completely elides the fact that every example given in the article is not about the impact of visible maturity per se. It's about women who are seen as old. Men become distinguished. Women get old. It's just one more way in which we are very lucky.

And of course, a woman's appearance can have a real impact on how she is perceived professionally, and in that way can impact her bottom line. It's true for men as well, but the cosmetic standards are far less exacting, less pricey, and less stringently enforced. My male colleagues can wear the same brown or gray slacks and blue or white button down shirt every day and no one would notice. It's the default business casual uniform for professional men. If I were to pull that, it would be seen as sloppy and slack-ass, because the default business casual uniform for professional women does not exist. Our looks are always open for comment. And now we can't even visibly age. Great.