tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6600547462620775535.post3139091057598354832..comments2010-01-26T04:01:15.076-06:00f.f.http://www.blogger.com/profile/15189780903818004615noreply@blogger.comBlogger28125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6600547462620775535.post-37186211892233191162010-01-26T04:01:15.076-06:002010-01-26T04:01:15.076-06:00Hi,<br /> <br />I am Belinda Dawson, a webmaster of some finance related sites &amp; blogs wanted to keep a good website proposal for you.<br />I visited your site, http://www.feministfinance.com/2008/05/marrying-debt.html, which is totally related to FINANCE and I think that the content of your site will be of good interest to the visitors.I believe that only good content will not help you in gaining the Google values. For that purpose healthy content link exchange or Normal link exchange is essential. If you agree with this we can exchange some articles as well as good links which will provide an extra benefit to our sites. <br />I wish to utilize this opportunity, because your site is fully related to my topic.<br />I would appreciate if you place my link within the content to our site and I will do the same. It will give extra mileage to our sites and help to gain some extra values in the eyes of search engines.<br /> <br />If you agree with me please reply me on this email: belinda.dawson1984@gmail.com. I have some good offers which can fulfill your requirements,<br /> <br />Looking forward for your positive reply!!<br /> <br />Thanks,<br /> <br />Belinda DawsonBelinda Dawsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06089625385356476730noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6600547462620775535.post-42019341902287217862009-04-20T05:26:00.000-05:002009-04-20T05:26:00.000-05:00Thank you for such a thoughtful post -- and for such thoughtful commentators! <br /><br />My friend passed this website on to me. My SO and I recently learned that he owes quite a bit to the IRS. I am terrified -- money is my big "thing." We are supposed to get married this summer, and we're trying to figure out how to make this work.<br /><br />FF, your post accurately sums up how I feel; I'm glad to know I'm not alone. And I take heart that others have been in similar situations and have gotten through it.<br /><br />Thank you!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6600547462620775535.post-65904342087465922012009-04-14T03:11:00.000-05:002009-04-14T03:11:00.000-05:00I am not a woman but have a similar situation. Newly married with our first child on the way. I have come to find out she inherited 150K in CC &amp; other debt in her previous marriage (or he did) Her ex-husband declared bankruptcy. I &quot;forced&quot; her to start the process of chapter 13 bankruptcy as an individual. I came to this decision after really examining her finances. If she continued down the same path she would be paying her CC debt (60K) for the next 22 years.<br /><br />I&#39;m now fighting extremely strong feelings of resentment toward her. Chapter 13 considers both incomes as a &quot;source of income&quot; for the reformation repayment plan. My high income does not help this situation. The bankruptcy has not been file yet. She is in a panic I will leave her -I will not. I very angry that I may have to pay another persons large debt. Does anyone have suggestions on dealing with this?superbee76http://www.blogger.com/profile/11794089002110885197noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6600547462620775535.post-61400799274648161052008-12-09T04:27:00.000-06:002008-12-09T04:27:00.000-06:00I recently came across your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I don't know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.Debt Settlementhttp://www.newlifefinancial.org/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6600547462620775535.post-57301525397711142192008-09-24T07:47:00.000-05:002008-09-24T07:47:00.000-05:00US Financial Freedom, a <A HREF="http://www.usfinancialfreedom.com" REL="nofollow">Debt Settlement </A> program is an innovative solution without filing bankruptcy for consumers who are considering credit counseling or bankruptcy with debt burdens. <A HREF="http://www.usfinancialfreedom.com" REL="nofollow">Debt Settlement</A> !Debt Settlementhttp://www.usfinancialfreedom.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6600547462620775535.post-43885747277679922042008-08-22T13:07:00.000-05:002008-08-22T13:07:00.000-05:00I'm extremely impressed by his work. You are so smart to require that these things be put in order BEFORE you get married. There's never any insurance that any marriage will make it. But, if you decide beforehand to make managing finances a priority you've got a chance. I hope all his hard work leads to a sooner than anticipated payoff!<BR/><BR/>Jerry<BR/>www.leads4insuranc.comJerryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02297947643006068426noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6600547462620775535.post-15948170644221750552008-06-03T01:07:00.000-05:002008-06-03T01:07:00.000-05:00HAI,<BR/> i am a new one for this site.<BR/> i am really happy to visit this site and get more info.<BR/> this give much more interesting info.<BR/> i didn't know about the feminist finance.<BR/> but this site give info about this.<BR/>thanks.<BR/>===================<BR/>jim2008<BR/>The best online resources and information for credit card debt.<BR/>========================== <BR/><A HREF="http://www.stop-credit-card-debt.com" REL="nofollow">http://www.stop-credit-card-debt.com</A>jim2008noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6600547462620775535.post-78227883713085005152008-05-31T10:37:00.000-05:002008-05-31T10:37:00.000-05:00Thanks for sharing... I'm linking to this. This is an important subject, for sureFabulously Brokehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12966672580040786485noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6600547462620775535.post-22521209175457678912008-05-18T13:45:00.000-05:002008-05-18T13:45:00.000-05:00I've also come over from Mrs. Micah and I have to say I'm impressed. I'm impressed that Shiner has managed to pay off so much of his debt. <BR/><BR/>I'm also impressed and really, really pleased that you thought it was important to work out where you stood financially once you both decided to get married.<BR/><BR/>I hope you have a great paid-for wedding, and a very happy life together.plonkeehttp://plonkee.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6600547462620775535.post-30992699090829701682008-05-18T13:13:00.000-05:002008-05-18T13:13:00.000-05:00I came over from Mrs. Micah and think this is such a wonderful, inspiring story. Thank you (and Shiner) for sharing it with us.<BR/><BR/>I love, love, love that you are so communicative with each other, and the depth of commitment that is so obvious. Keep it up even after you're married! :)Chief Family Officerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02320154821990804327noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6600547462620775535.post-7367944904129508292008-05-07T19:28:00.000-05:002008-05-07T19:28:00.000-05:00WAY TO GO! That is amazing. And really great that Shiner has trusted you enought to tell you the truth about his debt and to really work hard in paying it off -- I am blown away by how much he has accomplished.<BR/><BR/>When my husband and I married 5 years ago, he had a lien on all his assets by the IRS for not paying taxes in 1998. We received a great deal of cash for our wedding and I though "Great! Now we can pay a lawyer to resolve your tax issues, and we can move forward!" But it wasn't that easy as he had such deeply entrenched shame issues about his debt, etc -- that he was paralyzed for months about it. But we finally worked through it, and have made adeal with the IRS. But It really almost ruined our marriage, and I think you did the right thing handlling things the way you have.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6600547462620775535.post-72727916587922317512008-05-07T18:06:00.000-05:002008-05-07T18:06:00.000-05:00Another new reader via feministing...<BR/><BR/>Great post! Please, please do follow-up with another on how your partner managed to accomplish so much in so little time. I'm with a great guy who's much better off financially than I am, and I dread having "the talk" with him. I would love to work down my credit card debt before he even has to know it ever existed.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6600547462620775535.post-55337799893332415842008-05-06T11:57:00.000-05:002008-05-06T11:57:00.000-05:00a) i am SO impressed (and inspired) and b) i am in a similar situation and have been amazed to see my beloved halve his consumer debt in just a few months and c) oh crap, i forgot c and d) it's cool that the two of you will always know from this experience that you can be open with eachother even when it's hurtful and that you really can tackle seemingly improbable situations together. that's so awesome.ldubnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6600547462620775535.post-42369381834512206592008-05-06T09:25:00.000-05:002008-05-06T09:25:00.000-05:00This is a fantastic post.S/100/30http://100by30project.typepad.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6600547462620775535.post-7584289267229040172008-05-05T16:48:00.000-05:002008-05-05T16:48:00.000-05:00Another reader transferred from Feministing.<BR/><BR/>This is a great post on a great blog. So great, in fact, that I just read it aloud on the back porch to my equally feminist housemate!<BR/><BR/>I'm really inspired by Shiner's commitment to save (and to you!)<BR/><BR/>I was particularly interested because I've just committed to a pricey graduate school degree, and even though I value the education, I am seriously worried about the debt, and the way it may effect how a future (romantic) partner could perceive me. The cost of my grad school program is $42K a year (it's a two year program), $10K of which the government expects me to come up with by August, while only making $30K a year.<BR/><BR/>Needless to say, in the last two months I had to come up with a strategy (short of selling my eggs or something equally drastic) to save up $10,000 in three months - and I think I have just about done it. :)<BR/><BR/>Now if only I had figured that out six months ago, in which case I could have paid off the $10,000 I'm still carrying from my undergraduate degree!Flaghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02302702130145936194noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6600547462620775535.post-18456350222984137612008-05-05T15:16:00.000-05:002008-05-05T15:16:00.000-05:00I'm sorry, I didn't sleep last night so I'm not very up to speed at the moment. Actually, I do understand where marriage is beneficial, because I explicitly mentioned one such benefit in my previous post: tax benefits. Nevermind my tired ramblings...ARhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09695255436104873832noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6600547462620775535.post-63137104689838552892008-05-05T12:08:00.000-05:002008-05-05T12:08:00.000-05:00That's incredible. Congratulations Shiner, and FF!Terrihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01280305154161857475noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6600547462620775535.post-84069612548019955482008-05-05T11:02:00.000-05:002008-05-05T11:02:00.000-05:00Congrats to both of you. when I married my husband he owed a significant amount in back taxes (3 years' worth) and had a terrible credit rating. I asked him to work with the IRS to get on a payment plan and pay off the taxes, and he's done a great job, paying a really large chunk monthly for the past 4 years. It's almost gone! And, his credit rating is much improved.<BR/><BR/>That said, we have separate accounts and different household bills we pay-- and I am responsible for the time-sensitive ones like the mortgage, while he pays the cable and phone bills, that type of thing. That way I have peace of mind. I am also in charge of retirement savings. (I also make more money than he does.)<BR/><BR/>People are sometimes surprised that we have separate accounts after being married for almost 5 years. But it's what works for us. I think situations like ours are what makes marriage work, actually-- we treat each other as individuals and respect our limitations, while working together to be better.<BR/><BR/>(I don't mean to imply I am perfect. My issues tend to be non-financial, though.)mbnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6600547462620775535.post-38228631123821058452008-05-05T10:59:00.000-05:002008-05-05T10:59:00.000-05:00Wow! And again: wow!!! $42,000 in credit card debt, and he's killed more than half of it already. I'm impressed, and what's more, I'm inspired. <BR/><BR/>I often wonder about my own marriage prospects with lingering credit card debt (less than $3K now!), student loan debt, and a mortgage that is just a tiny bit too much for my salary. I'm finally working on all of it, being smarter about my finances, and no longer living above my means, so maybe there's hope for me yet.<BR/><BR/>This was a great post! Thanks!Finally Frugalhttp://finallyfrugal.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6600547462620775535.post-83173945434478333232008-05-05T10:57:00.000-05:002008-05-05T10:57:00.000-05:00Makes sense to me. At least, the part that came after the idea of getting married in the first place makes sense to me. That first part I don't understand, but assuming marriage a priori, I see where you're coming from.ARhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09695255436104873832noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6600547462620775535.post-19794821338663546952008-05-05T10:43:00.000-05:002008-05-05T10:43:00.000-05:00AR, we do have a joint account though it's basically an electronic cubbyhole for transfering money back and forth to one another for utilities, some of which are in my name and some of which are in his. We are going to keep some separate accounts after we get married, but are still figuring out what expenses will get paid out of what account (shared versus joint) and most of the savings will become joint savings. <BR/><BR/>My two big concerns with his debt load were (1) that our household cash flow was going to be seriously different than I'd expected, since his debt load was so much higher--this meant serious limitations on what he'd be able to contribute to retirement savings, of which he has very little, or to shared savings goals or family expenses. Those things made me concerned for him, and for me too (large committed expenses = big fear of job loss, for example, since I'm the bigger earner). <BR/><BR/>And (2) that if he did not change his debt-accruing ways, or went back to them after we get hitched, I would be to some extent legally responsible for the after-marriage debt he rang up even if it was in his name only. This is something we are going to address in a prenup for my peace of mind and as a show of good faith from him. But absent that prenup, if we were to divorce I would get socked with a share of that new debt, and even with the prenup I would still get calls from creditors if anything went into debt collection. So while I don't take on legal responsibility for the debt he had before marriage by virtue of tying the knot, I was more worried about the underlying behavior cropping up again, because that would go down on my permanent record in this stae, and in every other state we've looked at possibly moving to. There's no crystal ball telling me whether he will start racking up more debt again, but the experience of gnawing off his own leg, metaphorically speaking, to aggressively pay it down makes me think he'll be less likely to do it again, and makes me feel way more confident about taking the plunge.f.f.http://www.blogger.com/profile/15189780903818004615noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6600547462620775535.post-49231314852373923282008-05-05T10:42:00.000-05:002008-05-05T10:42:00.000-05:00I know Shiner didn't want you tell this story, so I applaud him for his courage. It is great to see that he is working so hard at erasing his debt.A. Linhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04461571149437568776noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6600547462620775535.post-85998273878174416622008-05-05T09:50:00.000-05:002008-05-05T09:50:00.000-05:00I'm a debt Puritan too, and really, I just want to applaud you for being smart about money and debt yourself, and Shiner for a pretty remarkable turnaround. It can be done.JWnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6600547462620775535.post-18444998321726342002008-05-05T09:30:00.000-05:002008-05-05T09:30:00.000-05:00Hi! I just arrived from the reference given to your site at Feministing.com.<BR/><BR/>I need some more context. Does your marriage plan involve a joint account? While we're at it, is a joint account needed for the tax benefits of marriage? I don't think it does, so couldn't you get married and keep your accounts separate? After my parents' messy divorce, I for one am convinced that legally combined assets is a bad idea on principle. You can still "combine" assets, but individual dollars and cents should each have only one name written on them. If things go according to plan, there's no problem, but if they don't, then... problems.<BR/><BR/>Of course, I could still see your concern about his debt. Even ignoring the hitching together of financial wagons, one wants people one cares about to not be in debt purely out of the personal concern for their well-being that defines close relationships, with the convenient side effect that it avoids you having to bail them out at some point in the future.ARhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09695255436104873832noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6600547462620775535.post-3084047892868141002008-05-05T09:27:00.000-05:002008-05-05T09:27:00.000-05:00This is such an important topic, thank you so much for sharing.Elsiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04102904769549608341noreply@blogger.com