One item Shiner and I have not factored into our wedding budget is the cost of a name change. In every state I've ever heard of, it is free for a woman to legally change her last name when marrying her husband; it's free for her to add his name; it's free for either of them to hyphenate their names. At any rate, it's free for everyone to keep their own names. What trips up a lot of states, though, is a man who wants to take his wife's surname after marriage. Because, uh, only girls do that, right?
In many states, a man who wants to take his wife's surname would have to go through the regular name changing process. And it is a process. It varies by state, but it generally takes at least a couple hundred bucks, a court appearance or two, and oh yes, the paperwork. That is just sexist.
But California has now joined six other states (Hawaii, Iowa, Georgia, Massachusetts, New York, and North Dakota--now there's a red-blue coalition) in requiring equal treatment of men and women in this respect. Congratulations and thank you to Michael and Diana Bijon for that. Michael (née Buday) successfully sued the state when he was told he needed to have a lengthy and costly name change proceeding before he could take his wife's name. Had his wife become Ms. Buday, the cost would have been $0.
Name changes are still a pain. I work with a woman who got married several weeks ago and took her husband's name. She's still dealing with the DMV, Social Security, and whoever it is at the county who tracks car titles. And she hasn't even started with the credit cards, the bank accounts, the passport, the job paperwork... Yikes. But we are one small step closer to a country in which everyone has an inexpensive path to lots of post-nuptial bureaucratic hassle.
Kate Harding at Shakes has more on why this important, aside from the straight up cheapness factor.
5.06.2008
The Cost Of A Name Change
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
12 comments:
My husband and I were married in January in California, and we both added each other's name to our own without any legal problem. It's not free for anyone, however, even after this law. The big breakthrough here is that men don't have to pay the $350 fee, appear in court, and make a public announcement. But partners of both genders still have to pay for new driver's licenses and new passports (social security cards are free). :-)
That should be "Michael (né Buday)" as "née" is the feminine form.
This is interesting. For my first marriage, in California, I remember changing my name to be a big pain in the behind. This time 'round, in France, the question of whether or not I was going to change my name wasn't even raised, and I didn't have to do anything to change it. My new paperwork just *showed up* with my new, married name on it. Luckily, I wanted to change my name to my husband's, so I didn't mind. but if I hadn't?
Interestingly, France also uses the woman's maiden name all the time on documents. So in a way she has two identities.
kemp, that's true, I wasn't very clear. The legal name change may be free, but several of the administrative updates to a person's documents do have costs associated with them. I guess if you live without a drivers license, passport, car title, or the like you would not have to pay anything. That doesn't describe me, though.
Kimberly, you know, I was trying to invoke the spirit of my high school French teacher last night for just this reason, but my memory was too hazy. Thanks!
My girlfriend and I have spoken about this and fortunately we're on the same page. Both of us are really not comfortable with the possession transference from father to husband that's implied by the wife's name change. Women aren't chattle, and a big part of your identity is your name. I would be fine with a newly married couple hyphenating their names, though that's often not euphonious, or choosing some other name altogether, but otherwise what's wrong with being married and everyone keeping their own name? All the laws and many of the traditions that surround what really should be a personal matter creep me out the more I think about them.
I remember reading about this couple some time ago, mid-process. Even then I was appalled at the hassle they encountered!
My sister's husband took her last name and didn't seem to have a problem. That was in Montana, so I wonder what their laws are. I didn't think anything of it at the time because I figured it would (and should) be the same process for a man as a woman.
I was behind a couple in line at the social security office who were doing this when I was changing my name back after a divorce. While it threw the clerk for a bit of a loop, it was just as simple as a female name change (they decided on the spot that if a woman just had to show a marriage certificate for a name change they had to use the same logic for a man)but they did warn him that if they ever got divorced and he wanted to change back to make sure it got noted in the divorce decree so he wouldn't have to go through the name change process at that time.
This was in Texas and I have no idea what the law actually says on this point, but if the clerks at the SSA can make a decision like that, it works for me!
Being single and no imminent marriage plans, is there a legal reason to change one's name when married?
When/if I marry, is there anything wrong with keeping my name on all legal documents and bank accounts but using his last name when meeting people or in casual usage?
By the way, my friend took her husband's last name when they married. Now they are divorced but she kept his name so that it would be easier to show the relationship between her and her daughter.
Agreed that the states should view such name changes equally. But why do we need to change names at all? I know certain cultures (Ethiopian) retain maiden names as a rule.
Name changes are a pain. We didn't do it. My wife kept her name and I kept mine. We have a daughter who has my wife's name as a middle. The hyphenated thing seemed endless and annoying so we didn't do it. There's no insurance that our daughter won't run into hangups but I guess that's how it goes. It's changed a lot over the years. Who knows. Maybe if enough people make a stink it could lead to more changes.
Jerry
www.leads4insurance.com
I kept my own name and my kids have my name. My partner and I are both happy the way we did it!
Fascinating-the sexism within our legal system never fails to wow me.
Post a Comment